I knew I couldn't stay awake for the BIG GAME. So, I set and double-checked the DVR for ESPN; kick-off slated for 9:30 CDT. I'm in bed by 9:00, secure in the knowledge that I'll be up in 7 hours ready to enjoy the game in complete solitude. I'm up at 4:30, no alarm needed. No Sunday Register at that time of day, but I don't want to know the DMR's take on the game anyway. I want this game denovo.
I make coffee, get a cup, pull my chair up close to the TV and click the "GO" button on the DVR. Up comes Chizik and his Auburn Tigers vs. Clemson. Have I recorded the wrong game? No. The meaningless game (to me) is knotted at 24 and going into overtime and ESPN says the Iowa-Arizona game will follow immediately after the overtime. Will they delay the start in Tucson, so we can see the whole game?
By now, I've forgotten that I'm watching on DVR and twenty minutes later Chizik gets the win and goes nuts. ESPN switches to IA-AZ and the score is already IA 0 - AZ 14. How can that be? My first thought is that there's a technological snafu and ESPN has the score backwards.
No. The score's right and it finally dawns on me that the entire Iowa-based Hawkeye nation has been (or was 7 hours ago) glued to their TVs watching the much despised Chizik glory in a victory. Had a million Iowans actually been able to see the first half of the first quarter, our mere presence could have telepathically zapped the calamity that infected Iowa's start to the game.
I finally remember that I'm watching on DVR, so I fast-forward through the commercials and the halftime chitchat. The game gets good; Iowa pulls into a 27-all tie, and the Hawkeyes have the ball. Then, the damn recording stops. That's all the time the mindless DVR had alloted for the game. As far as the DVR knows, the game is over. I'm pissed.
By this time Jodie is up and she's looking at the Register. She mistakenly understands from the paper's jubilation over the late-game tie, that Iowa had won. I'm elated, but decide to read the story myself. Not so; no win; still tied. The Register went to press before the game ended. But, there's still hope. No news is good news. I run to my computer. Not good news. The Register's website tells the rest of the story. I blame Chizik, and I'm really pissed. I need a nap; better go to church.
AS SEEN FROM THIS SIDE, NOW REOPENED WITH NEW MISSION: When Don Quixote retired from knight-errantry, he did so in the spirit of knight-errantry, holding to his vows and accepting his retirement as part of the terms of his defeat at the hands of the Knight of the White Moon. Despite his delusions, however, Don Quixote was fiercely intelligent and, at times, seemingly sane. He cogently and concisely talked about literature, soldiering, and government, among other topics. As do I.
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